A Shattered Life Renewed

My Personal Testimony

20200803_062609 (3)Grab a cup of coffee friend and let me share my testimony of trauma and healing. I am now ready to share.

A life can become a broken puzzle, shattered, as if dropped or thrown without care. We see the broken pieces with disorientation. The eyes become clouded by pain, confusion, and frustration. Unforgiveness, hatred, and bitterness fight to fill the heart making it become hard.

For the last year and a half my prayer was asking God to hold on to me and keep my heart soft, without bitterness and hatred. I continuously had to seek forgiveness for myself and for others. I often pictured myself holding on to the hem of Jesus’s garment as my world shattered, crumbled, and just broke.

Over 19 years ago, I met this man through a close friend. He was funny and down to earth. He believed in Jesus. He was caring and thoughtful. He was a hard working mechanic. We started dating right away, 3 months later we were married. I married my husband in 2001. We were both 21. We had our fights, we had our struggles, but we both loved each other and there was value in our commitment. He was a good man and a peace maker. He began to find who he really was at the age of 38. He was soaring with so many possibilities and blessings. He was always there for those who needed help without expectations, He was always feeding those who came around, and we always had plenty of leftovers. Food would fall out of the fridge every time we opened it, this would be aggravating, frustrating, yet hilarious. We would try to send food home with others. He loved to cook, he was the best cook I knew, I was getting fat.

FB_IMG_1545918196014We had three children together, 2 boys and one girl. My husband loved children, he was a kid magnet. He had a special bond with each of his kids. All three where, and still are, so different. Our oldest boy shadowed him, learned from him, whether it was his or his dad’s choice. Our middle child, the second boy was, and still is, a bit of a recluse. However, he would always be right there if dad was going somewhere. Our youngest, the daughter, often felt left out. They came up with there own handshake. If she was feeling left out, or pushed away, by her brothers, or all the other kids hanging around, all she had to do was walk up and do their secret handshake with him. Tickles and giggles always seemed to follow after, most of the time.

My husband loved to spoil all of us during holidays. I believe he had more enjoyment in picking out and giving the gifts than the kids did getting them. He lived for holidays. Christmas was always something to behold. A full house, friends and family, gifts pretty much covered the whole living room floor due to everyone there. Lots of food, lots and lots, of food. His turkey always came out so moist that it melt in the mouth. His ‘everything but the kitchen sink’ mashed potatoes that zinged with so much flavor. Those were his two signature dishes that everyone looked forward to. He really knew how to make everyone feel welcome and important.

He loved his siblings, he wanted to connect with his two brothers, they loved IMG_20171231_124614snowmobiling so he got into snowmobiling. We all enjoyed snowmobiling as a family. Being up on top of the mountains with the glittering snow and the blue sky stretching out yonder like an upside-down ocean was magical. We met some great people, one of the couples still remain close friends of mine.20191229_110046

December of 2018 was a busy month, My husband was the president of a Jeep club and we were making stockings for a stocking drive that the club was putting on. We handed stockings out to local schools. Saturday December 22 we set up at a local fire station with hot cocoa and goodies to eat. So many people were there. So many stockings were handed out. It was the end of a busy but good commitment. December 23, 2018 was to be a day of rest to recoup before Christmas. We were all tired and needing a break. My husbands younger brother wanted to go snowmobiling that morning and talked him into going. I remember being irritated by this, I just wanted to relax the day away with him before we had to go to my family’s place for a gift exchange. I remember walking him out, hugging him, wanting to let him know how frustrating this was, but keeping it in and just cherishing him. I watched him walk away and at the last minute he turn around, ” I promise that I will be back in time to head over to your family’s place.” I told him, “That would really make me happy.” Little did I know that those would be the last words we would say to each other. I’m so glad I didn’t complain or throw a fit about him going snowmobiling. It’s a bitter sweet memory.

I was sitting at the kitchen table with a friend when my mother-in-law, who was prepping for Christmas dinner, got a phone call. I heard her say, “get him to breath, get him breathing!” My heart sank, I wondered who was hurt. She got off the phone and said my husband was knocked off his sled and they were trying to get him to breath. We waited what seemed like forever. I called my mom, she offered to come get the kids and take them to the gift exchange. I was so thankful for this. I don’t remember much of how we ended up at my cousins, who was a friend with all three brothers. I just remember my friend driving us there. I remember him calling and talking to someone. I remember him throwing his phone. I remember him saying that my husband didn’t make it. I was shattered, the pieces of my world crumbled and fell apart. I remember my whole being silently screaming as I cried out, “No, no, no!”

I dreaded telling my kids. When they got home that night I could see the worry on their faces. Telling them was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. The oldest, 17 at the time, felt he had to step up and fill his dad’s shoes, our middle child became even more of a recluse, and our daughter developed some bad bloody noses. I myself couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think, the only thing I could do was hang onto the kids.

That first night I couldn’t even enter into our bedroom, in fact I couldn’t enter for a while. That first night I crawled into bed with my daughter, I was so careful not to wake her. I heard her say, “OK.” She then reached over and grabbed onto me and held me tight. A few minutes later she was awake. I asked her what happened, why did she say, “OK.” She said that her dad was standing by her bed and asked her to take care of me. That would totally be something he would say.

IMG_20181225_055412That Christmas was the hardest. He already did all his shopping, pretty much. All the presents he bought us were wrapped and under the tree. There was no helping the tears, as we all unwrapped gifts. Once all that was done what was left was the gifts we all bought him. We handed them out to each other like they were from him. Extremely painful, and hard.

Love for my husband in the community and beyond definitely showed. How much I appreciate everyone, family, friends, and strangers (to me), who came together to support us. Businesses, community clubs, and the Jeeping community also did what they could to support us. In the midst of trauma it was hard to see how blessed we were by this.

I didn’t know it then but our lives were going to change drastically again, and continue to change. Due to circumstances we lost the home my kids have ever known. We moved in with some close friends. After being an at home mom for 18 years I found a full time job. At work I made a great friend who was strong in faith and in a relationship with Christ. I was struggling with health issues. I thought it was just anxiety attacks. It turned out that my gallbladder had to be removed. Through this process and my instability I made choices that were questionable bringing us to more changes and more difficulties, even though the circumstances we found ourselves in didn’t work out, I don’t regret it. I got to reconnect with an old friend that helped in a lot of ways. This person helped draw my kids out. My kids started to breath life again. This person got me to snowmobile again. After my husbandsFB_IMG_1578899756948 accident I couldn’t even hear a snowmobile without freaking out. In a lot of ways this person was a God send. I will forever be grateful for this friend. I paid for schooling to become a licensed pastoral counselor.

It came time to try to find our own place. We found ourselves living with my mother and stepdad. They had to put up with us for about four months. Really, it’s so hard living with people and having people live with you. It messes up routine. My mom and stepdad were great, especially with helping me find a place to live. I never thought I would be be able to buy a home. I had no credit, no experience, and I just entered into full time work. There was not much of a market for rentals, and the few I did look at the owners decided to sell. I went to a family friend who was a Realtor. This person helped me get started and pointed me in the right direction. Buying a house is extremely stressful. God totally went before me in all this. He opened the doors and allowed no one to close them. I went to a home loan agency and happened to get locked in before the corona virus hit. I struggled getting everything they asked for. They wanted three proofs of payment up to a year. I had just that three (Netflix, phone, and insurance) that, at the date they needed it, it hit a year. They needed my W-2’s for the last two years. I had one but couldn’t find the other. I went to my tax lady and she told me she doesn’t keep copies of those, she sends them back in the folder with the taxes. She had all my paperwork scattered on her desk. I began to leave in defeat. As I started to open the door she calls out, “wait! Did you say you needed 2018 W-2’s!” I replied, “Yes.” She seemed so shocked that it was sitting right on top of all the paperwork. According to her knowledge it shouldn’t have been there. I thanked God all the way to the loan officer. It was like this throughout this whole process. At one time we were expecting something to come into the mail, that the home loan needed, but it never came. We were so frustrated because the virus was shutting things down and making it hard to get a hold of state officials. Everything was closing down. My loan officer decided to call the post office in the next county over to see if my mail, that we were waiting for, happened to be over there. Guess what. It was! We were both shocked. They were going to hold it for me so I could show up with identification to pick it up. I drove over in my truck right away. On my way over I felt my brakes slipping. I prayed the whole way. I got there, picked up the documents, and headed back to the loan officer. I dropped them off and went to the nearest mechanic shop. I lost all breaks as I pulled in. 

20200505_144610I prayed for a home that would bring us healing and peace and a place for my huge desk to fit into, after all it is a part of me. I’m a 100% country girl, but the only place available to me was in town. However, I have to say that God knew I needed this place. It’s the perfect spot for me and my children. It’s brought us and is bringing us a lot of peace, a lot of healing, and my big desk fits- so happy. God has blessed me with a Christian neighbor, turns out she was praying for a Christian to move in. God answered both of our prayers.20200509_132048

It’s been over a year and a half since my husband passed away. I’m so thankful to everyone who kept me in prayer and was there for me when I needed guidance.  All of you were a blessing from God in the midst of my trials. God has definitely moved mountains for me and my children. He has been with me every step of the way. I’m working, going to school, raising kids- who are flourishing in so many ways now, and we are moving forward. God has taken our shattered world and is putting it together one puzzle piece at a time. We have come so far, and yet, I know there is more to go. The other day I took my daughter to go see here dad at his grave, I watched her do their secret handshake with his headstone, it brought tears to my eyes. We are healing, I’m growing in my faith and calling, and I see growth in my kids as well. Every day is a new day, a new beginning.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”           Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” ~ Psalms 73:26

God Bless and Much Love ~H.E. Olsen


The Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.

Gird up the Loins😉 The phrase became a metaphor for readiness or to prepare. In biblical times a man would put a loincloth around his waist. With this loincloth, he would then tuck up his robe so his legs would not be hindered in work or battle. I can relate to this when I’m working in a dress, lol. It can become extremely frustrating tripping all over when on a mission. We need to prepare for our journey, in all things, especially if we are called to leadership. What good is a leader if clouded and tripping all over in thought and action, being wishy washy? We need to face ourselves, dig deep and heal, then Sit in the grace of Christ as truth is revealed upon our past, present, and future. Truth can be hard to face, many emotions can cloud us from seeing clearly. We are to learn from our past to gain wisdom for today that will mature us for tomorrow. The Bible is the authority in all things- science, history, math, counsel in all things, It is the living word, it breaths life into all situations- past, present, and future. The book of Revelation is a book vindicating the past, explaining the present, and declaring the future.

1 Peter 1:13-14- Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; 

1 Peter 4:7- But the end of all things is at hand; therefore be serious and watchful in your prayers.

1 Peter 5:8- Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

2 Timothy 4:5- But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation.

1 Corinthians 15:34- Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame.

Every day I ask God to reveal truth where I may believe lies, to guide me in the facts of His word. To press in, consider, and weigh every thought, every emotion, every action, and every word I receive from all sources. Does it breath life, does it breath death, or is it just empty. I ask God to make me sharp eyed like an eagle. To be observant and on guard, to be wide awake and mindful. I want to be a person to help others heal, grow, and mature in their walk with God and their calling, to seek righteousness in morals, to bring salvation, to further the Kingdom of God, seeking wisdom in all things. To love correction, so I can grow in wisdom. I do not want to be clouded, double-minded, or influenced by untruths.

James 1:17 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.”

What I can gather from this James 1:17 is that God is a light of truth, will, purpose, and promise- where there is hope, and where faith abides. There is one path, one goal, one mind, a single purpose. He has a fixed pattern, in all things. His light is a true form, all that is good. He is steady. He does not change, or bend. There is no shadow, no opacity to give lack of clarity. God is transparent where all true light passes through. There is no shadow, no darkness, no cloudiness. 100% pure natural light. There is no turning form light to dark, no He doesn’t jump from one decision to the next in a moment of being unsure, or fear of being wrong. He is all knowing, he clearly sees direction. He stays to the path. He is not clouded by emotions. All good gifts are from Him, whether they bring us joy or bring us struggle. Yes, it can be a struggle to look into the pure natural light after being in the dark for so long. This will stretch us and cause us to stumble at first, but Oh, how clearly we can see after our eyes adjust. It can be painful but it is good. Growth is painful. We are called to reflect Him. To allow his light to shine through us. This means we can not be double-minded or wishy washy. We need to be sober minded of our actions, choices, and purpose. Is it God’s Will, or your own? When it’s our own we become cloudy and confused.

I conclude that to be sober- minded is to rise above all emotions, all actions, all choices, all thoughts, all circumstances and allow God’s 100% pure righteous light to shine upon them, chasing all shadows in our heart and mind away, allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to us truth over all of it- to live in goodness, virtue, decency, nobility, integrity, worthiness, honesty, purity, and uprightness. The two strongest root causes that can cloud our light, and our eyes, are emotions and fear. We all struggle in this. These are the two forms the enemy loves to roam around and devour, this is where he is most effective. We can definitely see it in today’s world. How do we become sober-minded, through our faith in Jesus. Faith is the key and Jesus is the door. Also, by studying Gods word. we learn, we grow, we mature. We struggle with double mindedness and denial because of fear and emotions, there is spiritual warfare fighting over our souls. Wow! How precious and valuable we must be, how loved by God and hated by satan we are. Let’s protect our mind and heart, put on the breast plate and the helmet of God. Put on the whole armor. We need to live in God’s will, with single purpose, in one mind, one goal, one path. His will above our will in all relationships, wants, and desires.

Below are videos links for further study

Armor of God

The Shield of Faith

Every Good Gift

God Bless & Much Love ~H.E. Olsen

Spiritual Warfare

I’m going through and updating and editing some older posts before I continue with new posts. My journey and testimonies seem to becoming full circle.

Author H.E. Olsen

Our battle in spiritual warfare can be hard to see and to acknowledge. Especially, when we are comfortable, not moving or growing. There is no reason for the enemy to fight against us when we are stagnant. The enemy attacks when we are learning and growing in God. The weapons of warfare the enemy uses are our emotions, desires, feel good moments, through our circumstances, and if non of those work, he’ll use the people around us to come against us by enticement or causing emotional havoc. The enemy is so clever to hide behind our emotions and human behavior, which is part of our make-up and is so natural. With our humanistic and sinful nature, the enemy has ground to work in and around our lives. This is why we need to be sober-minded and vigilant. We need to fight against the flesh and reach for the Holy Spirit…

View original post 1,641 more words

Checking In and Saying Hi…

H.E. OlsenIt’s been quite a while since I’ve been in to say hi, or post what’s been on my heart. I have found it hard to share and open up after loosing my husband December 23, 2019. My kids and I have been under a huge transition. There has been so many changes and heart aches. One thing I can share right now is that death is one of the hardest and most confusing things to go through. I’m not ready to share more just yet, but soon. Soon I’ll be writing again and sharing my heart. I hope you will be following because from the deep darkness of life comes experience, with experience comes wisdom.

I will be blogging soon,

God Bless and Much Love,

H.E. Olsen

Ancestor of the Day: Feninsa Farsa

My first female ancestor that I’m able to post, yay! Not very many women are mentioned so far back in our family line. My last post was on Phoeniusa Farsaidh, King of Scythia. Feninsa is his mother, the wife of Bathath farssaidh. I’m excited about this post! Through Feninsa I can claim all 5 feet, 2 inches, and 150 pounds of me to be an Amazon Worrier (laughing- out loud).

Feninsa had two sons, besides her first child Phoeniusa Farsaidh, there was Esru. Esru was the second son. All we know about him is he had a son named Sru.

I’m excited to write about this ancestor. My cousin A.A. Kelly and I could give her a warrior type of personality and create a book that legends are made of, keeping it as real as possible though. Instead of a God like figure, like Wonder Woman, I think Feninsa would be described best as a strong woman with warrior like qualities. A woman history finds worth mentioning.

amazonian-woman.jpgFeninsa Farsa;

“Today I am posting the 8th ancestor and 1st female since I started way back in history. She was the wife of Bathath Farssaidh, King of Scythia and mother of Phoeniusa Farsaidh, King of Scythia and Esru. Her estimated birth date is between 2564 BCE and 2504 BCE.”

From Wikipedia: “In Greek mythology, the Amazons were a race of women warriors. Scythian women may have inspired the myth. Herodotus reported that they were related to the Scythians (an Iranian people) and placed them in a region bordering Scythia in Sarmatia (modern territory of Ukraine). Other historiographers place them in Anatolia, or sometimes Libya.”


“Esru is the 2nd son of Bathath Farssaidh, King of Scythia and brother to Phoeniusa Farsaidh, King of Scythia. Well, it sucks to the be the 2nd son. All we know about this guy is that his estimated birth date is between 2495 BCE and 2469 BCE, he had a son named Sru (lara) and that he was related to the 2 Kings above.”

From the Encyclopedia Britannica: “Until the 20th century, most of what was known of the history of the Scythians came from the account of them by the ancient Greek historian Herodotus, who visited their territory. In modern times that record has been expanded chiefly by Russian and other anthropologists excavating kurgans in such places as Tyva and Kazakhstan.”

By A.A. Kelly

My Next post will also include another female. The only Child listed for Phoeniusa Farsaidh, and his wife- stay tuned

H.E. Olsen

ANCESTOR OF THE DAY:Phoeniusa Farsaidh, King of Scythia

My ancestor, Phoeniusa Farsaidh, would be a very interesting person to write a fiction after. I love getting to know my ancestors, especially those who are connected to biblical times and scripture. To have one who was involved with building the Tower of Babble is amusing to me, it makes me giggle. Also, to learn that he was part of studying the different confused languages at Nimrod’s Tower is splendid. This journey of where I come from is so mind boggling. I’m sometimes struck with awe and wonder.

ConfusionPhoeniusa Farsaidh was born in -2533 in Scythia, Ancient Eurasia and Died in -1800 in Scythia, Ancient Eurasia. That would have made him 733 at the time of his death. He was the 1st of 2 sons of Bathath Farssaidh, King of Scythia, and the son that our family line is descended from. Information I have been reading refers to him as the legendary king of Scythia.

He was also known as “Fenius Farsa”, “Fenius the Antiquary”, and “King of Greater Scythia”.

There is quite a bit of information on this guy and he shows up in different versions of Irish mythology. According to some legends, he invented the Ogham alphabet and the Gaelic language. In the ancient “Lebor Gabala Erenn”, he is said to be one of the 72 chieftains who built Nimrod’s Tower of Babel, and then travelled to Scythia after the tower collapsed.

From Wikipedia: According to the Auraicept na n-Éces, Fenius journeyed from Scythia together with Goídel mac Ethéoir, Íar mac Nema, and a retinue of 72 scholars. They came to the plain of Shinar to study the confused languages at Nimrod’s tower. Finding that the speakers had already dispersed, Fenius sent his scholars to study them, staying at the tower, coordinating the effort. After ten years, the investigations were complete, and Fenius created in Bérla tóbaide “the selected language”, taking the best of each of the confused tongues, which he called Goidelic, after Goídel mac Ethéoir. He also created extensions of Goídelc language, called Bérla.

By A.A. Kelly

My Cousin A.A, Kelly has uncovered some amazing things about our history. I can’t wait to share more, stay tuned!

ANCESTOR OF THE DAY: Faithechta, also known as Fathochta.

I love getting to know my ancestors. The path they have me on is very colorful and filled with the beginning of legends from Christianity to Greek mythology and other beliefs. Every story, myth, and belief has a beginning, real or false. Magog is the grandson of the Biblical Noah, born to Noah’s son Japheth. Christianity is the beginning of this journey, from the great big flood of the Bible’s Old Testament, bringing a new beginning. I’m debating whether to start with Magog or his first son King Bathath Farssaidh for this book series.

Irish-MilesiansFaithechta, another +++ uncle, is the 3rd son of Magog and another brother to Bathath Farssaidh, King of Scythia. He is estimated to be born between 2643 BCE and 2583 BCE. He had 2 sons that we know of. Their names were Partholan and Braiment/Fraimaint. There is no more known about Faithechta but there is quite a legend regarding his son Partholan, a +++ cousin. It is said that he was the first person to colonize Ireland after the Flood. His people landed in Ireland in the year 1484 BC and the entire colony was wiped out by plague 300 years later in 1184 BC. The Chronicum Scotorum gives a short account of the legend, “”On a Monday, the 14th of May, he arrived, his companions being eight in number, viz., four men and four women.” If the kingdom of Desmond were as rich then as now in natural beauty, a scene of no ordinary splendour must have greeted the eyes and gladdened the hearts of its first inhabitants. They had voyaged past the fair and sunny isles of that “tideless sea,” the home of the Phoenician race from the earliest ages. They had escaped the dangers of the rough Spanish coast, and gazed upon the spot where the Pillars of Hercules were the beacons of the early mariners. For many days they had lost sight of land, and, we may believe, had well-nigh despaired of finding a home in that far isle, to which some strange impulse had attracted them, or some old tradition—for the world even then was old enough for legends of the past—had won their thoughts. But there was a cry of land. The billows dashed in wildly, then as now, from the coasts of an undiscovered world, and left the same line of white foam upon Eiré’s western coast. The magnificent Inver rolled its tide of beauty between gentle hills and sunny slopes, till it reached what now is appropriately called Kenmare. The distant Reeks showed their clear summits in sharp outline, pointing to the summer sky. The long-backed Mangerton and quaintly-crested Carn Tual were there also; and, perchance, the Roughty and the Finihe sent their little streams to swell the noble river bay. But it was no time for dreams, though the Celt in all ages has proved the sweetest of dreamers, the truest of bards. These men have rough work to do, and, it may be, gave but scant thought to the beauties of the western isle, and scant thanks to their gods for escape from peril. Plains were to be cleared, forests cut down, and the red deer and giant elk driven to deeper recesses in the well-wooded country. Several lakes are said to have sprung forth at that period; but it is more probable that they already existed, and were then for the first time seen by human eye. The plains which Partholan’s people cleared are also mentioned, and then we find the ever-returning obituary:— “The age of the world 2550, Partholan died on Sean Mhagh-Ealta-Edair in this year.”[3] The name of Tallaght still remains, like the peak of a submerged world, to indicate this colonization, and its fatal termination. Some very ancient tumuli may still be seen there. The name signifies a place where a number of persons who died of the plague were interred together; and here the Annals of the Four Masters tells us that nine thousand of Partholan’s people died in one week, after they had been three hundred years in Ireland.[4] Another tidbit about Scythia which is where Faithechta lived: “Scythia was a loose state that originated as early as 8th century BC. Little is known of them and their rulers. The most detailed western description is by Herodotus, though it is uncertain he ever went to Scythia. He says the Scythians’ own name for themselves was “Scoloti.” The Scythians became increasingly settled and wealthy on their western frontier with Greco-Roman civilization.”

A.A. Kelly

This detailed description has me thinking. Could it be that the Pillars of Hercules be pillars of a place that was inhabited by people before the flood? Were these pillars so foreign looking and strange to these explorers that they chalked it up to god-like. Could this have been, in part, the beginning of some Greek mythologies? Could’ve Partholan and his people been cursed by creating and worshipping false gods? Regardless of these questions what an interesting view of the past.

Also, imagine the boats and ships that were made. The boat makers were probably taught by Noah who was instructed by God Himself with understanding and wisdom of how to build a strong ship. His wisdom was, more than likely, passed to his sons and so on.

God Bless and Much Love,

H.E. Olsen


Book Review: Indigo’s Struggle by Krista Wagner

Indigo’s Struggle by Krista Wagner is an eye-opener!34813562

I rate this book with 5 stars!

As a teen we are easily led by our emotions. We struggle with feeling accepted, who Mr. Right might be, and friendship loyalties. We fall into what feels right rather than choosing what we understand and know is right. We become mentally unbalanced. I too, struggled as Indigo did (the main character). Krista wrote from understanding and it show’s in her literary work. I highly recommend this book, especially for teens in today’s world. Find courage to be who you’re meant to be- stand out and be strong in your singular identity. Know that there is purpose for your life. Everyone around you can benefit and be inspired by you, If you so choose.

Quick link to order on Amazon- Indigo’s Struggle

Sharing Testimonies- “The best things happen on the other side of fear!”

301_6590 (2)

I pray all my testimonies will bring inspiration to further the Kingdom Of God.

I was going to just post this on my Facebook page but I guess I have quite a lot to say on this subject so I decided to post it to my blog. Sharing my testimony (My first book Discovering True Love) has been a real struggle for me. I had to jump over so many hurdles and walk past so many fears. I just watched a video of Will Smith talking about fear and one of my favorite quotes that came from him is, “God placed the best things of life on the other side of terror!”

Will Smith’s experience of jumping out of a plane is the exact same for me with sharing my testimony. I jumped into the unknown! Why fear? God knows who I am and I know who I am, yet I still struggle with moving past fear. I don’t struggle from just one type of fear but many different fears- the fear of rejection, judgment, being hated, and more. I now ask myself, “why do I need to fear these when I know that an ever loving and righteous God accepts me for who I am? His grace and mercy are there to sustain me.”

My relationship with Jesus grows every day. I cannot live without Him. I go to Him over everything. He is my best friend. This is where salvation is.

Short Story

Party Time with my Best Friends

“I decided to throw a party so I sent out my invitations. I wanted all my close friends to come. I sent them out to Judas, Hagar, and Saul. We always have the best time, we are closer than family. While I wrote my invitations I didn’t realize my sub-conscience was on overload on why I didn’t even think to send an invitation to any of my acquaintances- like Jesus or Paul. I don’t even know them well. They’re really not a part of who I am. They don’t belong in my group and I really don’t belong in theirs. I can be who I want to be within my small group of close friends, I don’t have to worry about showing my true colors to outsiders. I can choose to be fake around those who don’t know me well. In my narrow way of thinking I didn’t realize that the outsiders can discern who I really am. I didn’t realize that I’m hurting myself by not inviting them, they could’ve turned out to be the best of friends who would’ve helped me see and grow. I may have known that they existed but they were just not a part of my world. My party was a blast as usual, we had so much fun! However, I heard that Jesus decided to throw a party as well but I was not invited.”

One cannot be saved by believing there is a God or just by being good. Satan knows there’s a God and he’s still going to hell, and even the good people sin. Life in salvation is about being true and real through Christ with God, yourself, and others.

Life is not about feeding our flesh death and destruction (There is so much of it in the media today and no, I don’t mean physical death- but the negativity that drags us down emotionally or feeds our flesh with ungodly desires). Life is about seeking to feed our soul the light of truth which brings healing. Testimonies resurrect the dead things in us and in others. Sharing our stories bring ourselves and others closer to God.

Revelation 12:11 – And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

What is a testimony? Titus chapter 3 says-For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

Psalms 66:16- Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul.

A testimony is sharing the truth of yourself and how you overcame by the grace of Jesus Christ- It is baring your naked soul for all to see- It is confessing sins of being lost and how you were found unto salvation- It is proclaiming Jesus Christ to the world and furthering the kingdom of God.

In sharing our testimony we will be judged and we will be hated. Matthew 10:22 says, “And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.”

All of us who have had a life changing experience are called to share our testimonies. Our testimonies differ from the where to the how, but that is the beauty of our individual relationship in Christ.

Things we need to know about sharing testimonies;

  1. We will feel fear- “Fear is not of God, it is one of the greatest tools of the enemy. Satan does not want us to share our testimonies to inspire others for the glory of the kingdom of God.”
  2. We need to let go of our past and forgive all, including ourselves- “Hanging on to the past will keep us bound and will most likely prevent us from moving forward in our testimonial journey.”
  3. We need to fear God more than men- “This type of fear is completely different than the tool of the enemy, it is out of love and respect, it is placing God above all others by caring what He thinks over what people think. We need to place God’s judgment over the judgment of men. God judges righteously while the judgment of men comes from hate, envy, bitterness, and jealousy. Remember God holds our soul in his hands, men do not.”
  4. We need to speak from truth- “Share from our personal truth, the truth of how we viewed things, truth of how our emotions made us feel, and the truth of our inner struggle in comparison to the truth of the word of God. Other’s (family and friends) my feel differently because each individual has their own way of thinking and viewing things. They may remember things differently. Their testimony may differ but that is their personal truth and their journey.”
  5. Don’t let opinions sway your testimony. “God knows your heart, He knows where you’re speaking from, stand in its complete truth. If you become unsure about something then ask and seek, God will provide the answer if you are wrong, and He will confirm if you’re right. Never be afraid to be wrong, grow from it.”

God Bless and Much Love,

HE Olsen